've been feeling a little out of control lately. partially because i've been sick with the flu for the past week and a half, but mostly because i'm the most unorganized person i know. i've always hated that. always feeling like i can't get it together. it's so frustrating. i feel better when i do get organized, but i'm convinced that i have a genetic malfunction that sends out signals to the rest of my brain to abandon ship and take a vacation. seriously, i just cash out after awhile and then it dawns on me that the lights are on but no one is home. then i get back on board...organize...focus...then take another vacation. it's like nothing ever gets done. a vicious cycle. the curse of the the type b personality living in a type a world.


anyway... enough self-deprication. now on to quotables of the week:

"i want to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids or husband" from my good friend erin shope. a girl of wisdom beyond her years.

"the bible is boring. read it anyway" from a lame, doofus of a pastor at a church i visited last sunday. captivating, truly captivating. can hardly wait to get bored next sunday.


thoughts on the future...

so in april i'm making plans to get my own apartment and i've decided that i'm not doing the whole tv thing. i want to see what my mind will do when not given the option to just cash out. it may be causing some of my organizational problems. i'm really easily distracted. but look out, you may all be hearing from me a lot more:)

peace

mel

i'm feeling distraught over how i have treated my car. i drove it hard without showing it any love. i would have been thrown in jail if it had been a person. poor Betsy... i've taken her for granted. not anymore, it's nothing but lovin for my baby from here on out.

had a dream last night and woke up feeling so happy. i had started a church called "no expectations" people just came and sat in my living room. we sat in silence for awhile and waited on the lord until he revealed himself to us. we didn't manifest anything we just left ourselves open to him. it was so...right. wish it was a reality. not feeling like i fit in with churches right now. i've been at this place of discontent for so long that i don't remember what it was like to feel anything different. i guess the refreshing part is that i know i'm not the only one. what is this that we're going through?

peace

mel

i was awakened on Sunday to the sounds of sobbing and wailing in my home as my friends Heather and Jeff break the horrific news to me...Jennifer and Brad have seperated. there is currently a lump in my throat. been hard to think about anything else... sigh.

anyway, had myself a fun time on saturday visiting a 24 hour truck stop-like joint at 1:00 in the morning. walked in with two of my friends and was given the "you ain't from around these parts" look. was a little uncomfortable but soon got over it as i got a hold of cheesy hashbrowns, eggs, and and a bisquit. love breakfast food in the middle of the night!

resisting the tempation...
there is currently a commercial on the comedy station for jamstar. they're downloads for the cell phone such as screen savers and bell tones. my favorite so far is the download for the "bling bling rims." for only 3.99 a week i can show all my friends my makeshift bling on the dilly ring. yeah boi!

movie review...
watched Garden State and Anchorman the other night. have discovered that about 15 minutes of Will Ferrell's character was all i could take. fell asleep half way in. was impressed that a guy from scrubs wrote and directed a film. was pretty good for a first timer. loved the soundtrack and overall it had great character development. some good moments of deep thought and some dark humor. not bad zach braff.

last piece of randomness...

cost me over 300 dollars this weekend for car care. it took me over 2 hours to get my license and registration and cost me 200. ouch! then i went get my oil change and received a lecture from the tech that my engine could have blown up if i had not had changed it soon. cost me 110 for change, engine flush, wipers etc. ugh. but the car is loved and legal:)


peace out

mel

i'm breathing... i'm breathing. ahhh. the chaos is slowly winding down. time for a little catching up action. for those of you who thought that i have fallen off the face of the earth... be rest assured that i have not. you should be aware that they discovered the planet was round many years ago making that virtually impossible. in fact, they say the Tsunami actually increased the gravitational pull. i'll be here for a while.

i went home for Christmas (Illinois) i wasn't fully aware of how 6 months away from people can really change things. i had to get to know them again and they in return had to get to know me. it was a lot more effort than i had aniticipated. but we took the time and really talked alot about life. some things we understand about each other and some things we don't connect on at all. was hard to accept that. no one wants things to change, but they do. one thing is for sure... we love each other in spite of it all. it was hard to leave, yet a comfort to come home.

things i hate and love about flying...

- a guy sitting next to me would not shut up they entire 2 hour flight. i had the head phones on and everything. ughh.

- the take-off is by far the most exhilerating part of the flight. love it!

- love babies, love flying... do not like babies and flying.

- what is up with the peanut mix?

- on the way home it was a perfect night above the clouds. i couldn't stop looking out the window. transfixed by the moonlight, stars, the reflection of the cities peaking up through the clouds... beautiful.


random...i am finally going to register my car and get my NC license. i guess this means i'll be staying for awhile.

peace out:)

mel