i've decided to change the song "Manic Monday" into "Freakin' A Thursdays." getting up at 4 a.m. to awaken the dawn and see the sunrise to a new day to have it all go down the toilet in about an hour... ahh, the beauty of working in a coffee shop. the nice part is that it wasn't the customers this time, it was management. i know i'm not perfect and i'm sure that people have plenty to say about my leadership capabilities or lack of, but i am definitely becoming more keenly aware of the kind of leader that i don't ever want to become. i've made a list of the most repulsive things people in management/leadership do.

1. blame everyone else for things that go wrong. (call me crazy, but i believe the most important thing a leader can do is know when they've screwed up and take responsibility for it. "learn from your mistakes")

2. know the rules and break every one of them cuz you can.

3. call employees on their mistakes in front of everyone within earshot.

4. patronizing

5. forget that without your employees, you don't have a business.

okay, i'm done venting about that... now on to other pertinent griping..

i'm going to embark on a quest. i would like to change everything about how we americans view time. instead of always catching up let's just sit back, grab a cup of tea, watch the sunset, talk or better yet be silent, then let time catch up with us. just for a while. i value work and find it to be really rewarding but something has a hold of us...it's just an illusion to think that we are moving forward. we are really just moving to our enevitable desitiny of death and we just keep picking up the pace (pace as in steady rythem, not the Picante sauce:)

so today is "Earth Day" and here is what i would like to suggest... that we take a good hard look at how we have managed to destroy our own planet and then reconsider why we are exploring others! isn't one planet in the cosmic force enough? oh, wait a minute... we are americans and so we will not stop until everything we touch has "turned to gold" if there are aliens, i hope they kick our butts. today i celebrated "earth day" at the coffee shop i work at in suburbia by handing out at least a couple of hundred of trees in paper cups! also the yuppee, rich community that i work in "doesn't do" certain recycling for our store. what a load of crap! should i take the initiative to save the planet and take the recycling myself? well.... quite honestly i don't have the time...

later:)

okay, yesterday i was in a mood and was really being a bit of maniac, but today things are better. i've discovered that their is nothing better to bring me out of a funk than to have good old fashioned potty humor. i was chatting with my co-workers about the the longest pee they have ever taken. my record is pretty admirable - 1 minute 17 seconds! but i have a friend who honestly peed for a minute and 55 seconds! i don't know where she stored it! the average size bladder can only hold two cups of liquid!!! (i learned that playing Cranium) her bladder must have triggered every tank in her body to let loose at once. amazing...

so i'm sitting in my room when i hear a giant crash and realize that my shoe rack has plundered to the floor. i realized after gathering all of my shoes that it was probably because i had stuffed 38 pair onto a rack that should only hold 24. what i would like to know is how i stand comparatively to other women/men in the amount of shoes i own. is 38 an average for an american?
let me know...

later:)

It's been a longgg weekend and I'm so very tired. I've got Sheryl Crow's "every day is a winding road" going through my head. I'm having a hard time accepting the whole part of getting a little bit closer to feeling fine. I feel a little bit closer to feeling like crap today and the "winding road" thing is making me nauseated.

The truth is that I've come to more than a fork in the road... it's more like a freakin maze! I'm right in the middle and I can't see my way out and there are at least 5 different paths to choose from. Which one of the paths is the only way out?? Do the rest of the paths all come to a dead end? Ugghh. I have had times in my life where I didn't have a single option in front of me. I'm beginning to realize that I would rather be at that place because you have no choice but to throw your hands up and give it over to God in faith. Now i've been given the choices and it's a test of faith that i've never had to face before. Will I choose according to my own desire or allow the God to be God... is there the "right path?" I don't know right now...

So.. I had an interesting discussion with this guy about whether or not everything that happens has a purpose. We came to the conclusion that the problem with American culture and maybe even today's church is that we think that all things have a purpose for me, the individual. Let's take the Purpose Driven Life book. How long are we going to keep on trying to convince people that their life has meaning and that they are special... This is going to sound harsh, but what if we started telling people to get over themselves and start realizing that this life does not revolve around them. That maybe something bad happened to you because it was meant to affect someone else. Maybe our purpose driven-life has nothing to with us and has everything to with God and others. I think our country and our churches would go into a severe identitiy crisis if we actually stopped focusing in on the mirror and start looking out the window. Maybe that's what we need right now. Maybe that's what i need right now...

mel

So my confessions of computer illeteracy hold true! someone help me please:)

random thoughts:

i've very recently filled out a "if you were a U.S. city which one would you be" thing for a fellow blogger. In response to "which one of these activities sounds like fun to you" i checked the box that said drive-by shootings. now before you start thinking i'm psycho or want to have me arrested, please let me finish. I don't think that drive-bys with real guns are ever fun(ny), unless one might be using a Paint Gun! Yeah Baby!! So i started to think of people that i would love to pelt with paint and I came up with the following people:

* Charlton Heston - this may be risky as he may be carrying his own semi-automatic with him, but i would love to pelt the crap out the ignoramous:)

* jessica and nick - they have been getting way to much attention, so it almost pains me to think that i might be adding to that, but they just get on my nerves...

* the guy who created the quiznos commercials and the furry,gopher,rat, gerbil,like thing that's in them. it haunts my dreams at night.

if you have other you would like to add to the list feel free!Soap Box:

dating christians verses non. i went out with a really awesome (non-christian)guy who has treated me like i'm a princess. in a good, non-threatening psychotic way. he compliments me and tells me he thinks "i'm so damn cute," a good kisser, smart, funny, etc. now i know that these are generally lines that guys use to get some lovin', but it got me thinking about how when i go out with christian guy that i haven't even received a "gosh gee willikers, you're so sweet." my soap box... christian men need to work on the wooing!! it works:) just ask the guy i went out with...

why is it that the minute you think you are about to imbark on something that could be cool you realize that the idea may have been better in your head and that your still using the word cool... i'm going to be 30 soon. enough said? it's a premature mid-life crisis and so i find myself needing to express something to someone, somewhere. i'm not the most articulate person nor am i "computer savvy" and so i should be asking myself again why i think that this is going to be such a good idea... the bottom line is i rarely have a day when i don't stand on my soap box or find something to feel passionate about, even if it's meaningless jibber. so, if you would be so kind, let me introduce you to my passionate and meaningless world.


Jabberwalky:

- so to initiate my blog i feel it's important to explore my new found hobby... reading "teen" magazines. I was reading the latest issue of YM and found it refreshing that the same stories i read about as teenager are being recylced. take for instance "most embarrassing moments." on a scale of 1 to 10 how embarrassing would accidentally farting in front of your boyfriend be? Still number one on the charts!!! Yep! Right up there with "I was wearing white pants and ....." (i'll let that go just in case there are gentlemen that read the blog) Others included the infamous "accidentally forgot to wear my underwear with my skirt" and "I dove off the diving board and my swimsuit came completely off." ( you thought i was kidding when i said meaningless...)

- George Bush... is it me or does this guy just oooze dork? i watched him on walk to the podium tonight and i couldn't help but immediately want to laugh. he is quite possibly the dorkiest looking president ever! Caricatures do this man justice. i know this is shallow, but quite honestly i guess i'll have something more intelligent to say when he does. oouch!!

Soap Box:

Foreign Policy is a foreign policy. We should consider getting one...quick.

I can be viciously opinionated, but completely open minded, which is why i would love feedback. one last thing...

WORD OF THE DAY: Collywobbles - belly ache.

p.s. thanks happyweeble and thebaldtrain for the inspiration. this is fun:)

Peace out peeps:)